Was it the sex, or the spending time together?

[oursin]

After 13 years of marriage and two children, Annie and Douglas Brown's sex life - like that of many couples - had lost its sparkle. How did they ignite their lost passion? A 101-night, non-stop, no-excuses sex marathon.
Okay, they felt closer and more connected, but might they have felt the same about any joint project requiring spending one on one time together? (Hooking a rug?) Perhaps it was the 'a commitment to turn off the television, and not to read magazines or surf the internet' for the duration, and the spending time talking, plus the rather task-orientated sense of an endeavour to complete to schedule, that accomplished the bonding. Also, perhaps the bond was already there? (One can imagine undertaking a similar project having very different effects on different couples.)

And this may or may not be connected - discussion with partner of this week's Love By Numbers on 'The seven-year itch'. which segued into the attitude of various religions to divorce and by way of that to polygamy, and that you don't (do you?) get sects/cults which are polyandrous (as an article of belief, as opposed to the occasional and rather rare traditional social practice). Have been trying to think of sects and cults founded by women: at least one, The Shakers, was anti-sex altogether and involved complete celibacy.

Comments

[noveldevice.livejournal.com]

I'll be honest, that bugs me a little. Sex isn't the glue that holds a relationship together. Sex is more like that fabric basting glue--it's good while you're figuring out how it all goes together, but eventually you really do need to sew the bastard up.

The last thing I want--and I have a libido like whoa--is to have sex be a contractual obligation. It's okay to not be in the mood, and anyone who says differently is a jerk.

[hafren.livejournal.com]

I can't think of anything worse, or more likely to turn me into a nun. Admittedly for me that sort of thing ranks along with the ironing as something you have to do to keep a household going...

[ann1962]

365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy This is the other book that has come out regarding the same topic and the one I was thinking of in the deleted reply. I think it was both of these couples that were on the Today Show.

[cavlec.livejournal.com]

Whatever works, I guess. As long as they stop short of saying it'll work for everybody, 's cool with me.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

Christian Science, of course. Theosophy?

I'm going to rewrite Mrs. Patrick Campbell's famous comment:

I don't care what people do, as long as they don't write a memoir about it.

[badgerbag.livejournal.com]

Heh heh. It'll be my new pickup line! Hey baby! Wanna go... hook a rug?

[oursin.livejournal.com]

Yeah - it struck me like people who train obsessively for marathons and do their running stint come rain, shine or having a temperature of 104F.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

I was once told that the founder of Baha'i was a woman but I can't find any authority for this.

Not sure what the Christian Science take on sex was, but Theosophy was not very keen, at least in theory.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

Mother Anne says Shake It Up Baby!

[serrana.livejournal.com]

Well, they also sang an awful lot. A lot of rounds. Round and round and round, not that they were suppressing any urges with all that or anything....*GRIN*

[ironed_orchid]

I like your metaphor.