The opposite of torch song

[oursin]

Having suggested in my post yestereen on the music letter meme apropose of 'Many a New Day', that it was from some unnamed genre which is the opposite of torch song -

Torch songs being, pretty much, the ones in which the female singer yearningly declares that she will never stop Loving That Man even if he is not there/has run off with her best friend/has never ever looked at her/etc. I.e. they are from a position of abjection -

I was thinking about songs which do the reverse and posit a subject position of emotional agency vis a vis heterosexual romance in the singer, I realised that these actually fall into at least 3 categories.

a) Along the lines of 'Many a New Day', the ones that are about 'Men - who needs them? if one ditches you they're like buses, there'll be another one along soon'. Other example: The Marvelettes' 'Too Many Fish in the Sea' (also, perhaps, their 'I'm too strong to be strung along', which I can't find on YouTube).

b) Ones with the message along the line of my darling Dame Rebecca's famed apercu 'Men are terribly poor stuff'. E.g Rosemary Clooney and Marlene Dietrich, 'Men are Good For Nothing' and the Velvelettes' 'Needle in a Haystack'.

c) And then there are the ones that are 'Go on, get stuffed: who needs you?' addressed to some specific bloke, either named, as in the case of 'Nathan Jones' being given the air by the Supremes, or unnamed, as in the guy being told that 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor. (Given the mention in both of those of keys and doors, perhaps the archetype of this one is the blues classic 'You Got the Right Key but the Wrong Keyhole'.)

Any further suggestions?

Comments

[legionseagle]

I'm not sure where Diamonds and Rust sits; it's a sort of (c) but not quite as "Kindly get stuffed" as, say, "I will Survive". Similarly Winds of the Old Days .

[commodorified]

Rory Block: God's Gift to Women

[szandara]

Etta James has a marvelous song called Wet Match, addressed to a man who bragged about what a great lover he was, and what a disappointment he turned out to be. The chorus goes Your love is like tryin to light a fire with a wet match/you won't even get a spark like that.

[oursin]

And 'Pushover' is another of hers that is c), except it's more about 'and I am not for a moment interested', rather like the Velvelettes' 'Exception to the Rules'. This may, in fact, be category d!

[wordweaverlynn]

There's a related genre: "men are good for one thing, and you'd better be good at it, or else." An example is Shania Twain's That Don't Impress Me Much.

[oursin]

Put it right here

[azdak]

That Lily Allen song about the ideal boyfriend who turns out to be a dead loss in bed (I can't remember what it's called, but the chorus goes "I think you're really mean"). It was quite amusing listening to the song being played on Austrian radio stations as it took a while for them to realise just what the lyrics were, and gradually more and more of them got edited out, so there'd be little patches of silence in the middle of the song.

[tree_and_leaf]

It's "It's not fair" (The chorus, IIRC, rhymes 'I think you're really mean' with 'you never make me scream').

[azdak]

That's the one!

[jackandahat]

England 2, Columbia 0 - Kirsty McColl - it's a "You tried to screw me over, I had a sad moment, but I'm over you". With the line "Now you can go to hell! I'm going to Brazil."

[sheenaghpugh]

Well Waylon's Didn't We Shine isn't quite the same, because it's devoid of bitterness "maybe it wasn't meant to last till the end of time/ oh but while it did, didn't we shine?". But certainly empowered.

[jesuswasbatman]

My generation's version of that is Lush's "Lady Killers".

(For Buffy fans, the three verses always remind me about, in order, Xander, Riley and Spike)

[tree_and_leaf]

"You're so vain" is definitely category C.

I'm not sure whether Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much" is B or C, as I was never sure whether it's about a sequence of unsatisfactory men, or one epically unsatisfactory man.

[kore]

That keyhole song has just made my day.

Hmmm...

[(Anonymous)]

If you're keeping the musical theme with "Many a New Day" from Oklahoma, I'd say "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair" from South Pacific. Which is kind of a 'b', though it's less generic 'men suck' as it specific 'if he doesn't understand you...and it it doesn't really talk about finding a new man, just about getting over the current one. More feminist than most, especially for a musical.

- Dena

[aquaeri]

I think perhaps 'Beep' by the Pussycat Dolls is in your category b). And their 'Buttons' is a c) that hasn't got to outright rejection, but is telling him he needs to improve his performance. They also have a song actually called 'I don't need a man' but I don't remember the lyrics.

[oursin]

Lil Johnson, 'Press my button to ring my bell'!

[houseboatonstyx]

Well, there are also:

"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

"I'll Never Fall in Love Again"

"Gonna Wash that Man Right Outta My Hair"

And my favorite, "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend."

[tree_and_leaf]

I thought about "50 Ways", but at least in the original version, it's a man's voice (on the other hand, he's relating advice from a woman, and I suppose there's no reason to assume the person he ought to be dumping is a woman).

[houseboatonstyx]

The dumpees' names are all male.

But yes, careful with those het assumptions.

http://www.wbr.com/paulsimon/lyrics/50ways_to_leave.html

[tree_and_leaf]

No, those aren't dumpees' names, they're people doing or being advised to do the dumping. The sentences are all imperatives addressed to people with male names.

[azdak]

"Hit the road, Jack"

[antisoppist]

My tape with "Wash that man right outta my hair" on it follows it with "I can do without you" from My Fair Lady and "Shall I tell you what I think of you?" from The King and I. But the last two aren't about romantic relationships but just bloody annoying arrogant men/kings.

[(Anonymous)]

"All Around My Hat"

Lyle Lovett's "God Will," as performed by Holly Cole.

-Josh