Wednesday has been deferred

[oursin]

This afternoon I went down to see my father in hospital, as he was considered unlikely to be discharged until the end of the week.

(A not too unbearable hi-speed rail service from a mainline station very accessible to me, but then taxis to/from the hospital, which is well out of town.)

I hadn't intended stopping more than an hour or so, because on previous occasions that seems about as much as is reasonable without tiring him, but today although he seemed fairly lucid, though tired, when I arrived, he was mostly in a somewhat confused and possibly hallucinating state - with a very fast heart rate, problems with swallowing - so I thought I'd better stick around until my sister and b-i-l came in the early evening.

Couldn't do much but hold his hand, liaise with nursing staff, etc.

By the time sister and b-i-l arrived he was on diuretics and something to slow the heart-rate and they were giving him oxygen but still seemed pretty much out of it.

And then I came home.

Comments

[davidgillon]

Don't dismiss just holding his hand. I've just seen a bunch of my dad while up in Durham and his condition still fluctuates markedly on a day by day basis, from playfully mischevious, to sleepy, to demanding, to confused, but having family around really does seem to help, particularly when he's most out of it.

[oracne]

I'm glad you got to see him, and he you.

[syderia]

I hope he'll get better soon.

[kore]

Oh no, that sounds pretty distressing. I'm sorry. I am glad you got to see each other, too.

[mrissa]

I hope that things improve on that front so that he is more calm, comfortable, etc.

[coughingbear]

I'm sorry. I hope he improves soon and glad you were able to see him.

[ironed_orchid]

It's good that you were able to be there.

[sartorias]

So glad you got to be there!

[cofax7]

I'm glad you were able to see him. It seemed, in the final week, that Dad was unable to perceive us, but I'm really not sure. He sure recognize the voice of his physical trainer (and tried to get out of bed!). So I'm glad you were there to talk to him and hold his hand.

[em_h]

I'm sorry. This is really hard stuff to get through.

[alatefeline]

I'm sorry. That sounds ... impossible, honestly. It is good that you were able to be there.

[ranunculus]

Hang in there. End of life stuff is so hard. You never know if your parent has 2 hours, 2 days or 2 years. I went and held my mother's hand one afternoon and early evening and then left. She was dead by morning. Wish I'd sat with her longer but no one could know if she would be hold out for hours or weeks.